I just set up my online account to start giving money to the church every two weeks. To be completely honest, my stomach is a little uneasy just thinking about it. I've never officially tithe before. I use to just throw a couple of dollars in the offering plat when it was passed, but that was only if I had enough money leftover in my wallet to buy a couple of cheeseburgers for lunch.
I'm not proud of the way I have handled my money in the past. Its been all about me and what I want. I remember one of my first days at Ozark Christian College as a freshman. There was a worship service on campus I attended that first Sunday I was in Joplin. When it came time for offering, I thought I should put some money in the plate that was being passed for the fear of someone noticing I didn't put any money in the plate thus making me less of a Christian. I opened up my wallet and put in what I thought was a $10 bill. You see, I am a spoiled guy. My parents gave me $400 every semester to spend on myself, and they usually gave me four $100 bills or a check. That day I also had other bills in my wallet, so I grabbed the $10 and put it in the plate. When I got back to my dorm room I noticed a hundred dollar bill missing from my wallet and that my $10 bill was still there. Then it hit me...I accidentally threw in the $100 bill instead of the ten. My stomach dropped and my face went pale. I thought to myself, "I just wasted one hundred dollars."
Looking back at that moment, I am not proud of myself, and yet today I have that same feeling in my stomach. I think it all comes down to faith. Do I have faith that God will use the money I give better than the double cheeseburgers I would but if I kept the money? Do I have faith that God will provide for me even though I have less money? Do I have faith?
Right now I don't think I have the faith I should have, but this will be good for me. Malachi 3:8-12 talks about how we should test God in our tithing and giving. Malachi 3:10 says, " 'Test me in this (tithing),' says the Lord, 'and see if I will not throw open the flood gates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'"
I'm excited to see my faith grow, because I guess I am testing God in my finances. I think the odds are in my favor, because God has never failed a test. Of course I need to have the right perspective on this. The way God provides might not be the way I want Him to, but He always provides whats best for me. So does this mean next a $100 bill will show up on my doorstep? Probably not. God might just give me a content spirit or joy to be able to make it through tough circumstances. Whatever it is, I know God will pass the test...He's a straight A student. I think...I know he will pass the Test.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
God Dreams
Tomorrow is the big day. I'm moving into my apartment. Right now it is about 10 o'clock at night, and my room at the house I've been living at the past year still looks the same. I haven't packed anything, and to be honest I think I'm going to wait until the last minute to do anything. It is just hard leaving a place where you have gotten so comfortable. The family I'm staying with has been awesome. I'm so lucky to have had the privilege to stay with the Lincks.
I remember this time last year, I was about to make another big move. This time instead of moving about 30 minutes away, I was moving 9 hours away...from Kansas to Indiana. It was the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. I remember the night before I left. I was sitting in the kitchen with my mom and dad just talking a little bit. All my things were packed in my car, so I could leave early the next morning. When all of a sudden, I just broke down. I started bawling like a baby, and I had no idea where it came from. My dad actually walked outside to our backyard and my mom came over to comfort me as tears were flooding down her face too. She just rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be okay. I believed her, but it was just so hard to picture life without my family close by. A few minutes later my dad walked back inside wiping tears from his face. It was such a tough time. It was a sad time.
But I sit hear one year later as happy as I hav ever been. I'm marrying my dream girl in November. I get to work with the same students and student ministry team for another year, as I accepted another year-long internship with the church. And I'm moving into my own place. Who would have thought this would all happen to average ole Charlie? Not me! Especially as I was sitting at the dinning table with my mom and dad that night as we said our goodbyes and crying, I would have never dreamt this for myself.
I have leanred a lot of things in my life. I've learned how to color inside the lines with my crayons. I've learned to make scrambled eggs, and I've even learned how to make a loud popping noise with my knuckles by slapping with my finger. But one of the most important things I think I have leanred is that God's dreams are bigger and better than my dreams. Why even waste time dreaming for your life when God has the perfect dream waiting to become your reality? God is the mastermind behind this plan. He is the designer of my life. I'm so excited to see where God takes me, because I could never possibly dream what God has in store! Are you going to let God dream for you?!
I remember this time last year, I was about to make another big move. This time instead of moving about 30 minutes away, I was moving 9 hours away...from Kansas to Indiana. It was the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. I remember the night before I left. I was sitting in the kitchen with my mom and dad just talking a little bit. All my things were packed in my car, so I could leave early the next morning. When all of a sudden, I just broke down. I started bawling like a baby, and I had no idea where it came from. My dad actually walked outside to our backyard and my mom came over to comfort me as tears were flooding down her face too. She just rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be okay. I believed her, but it was just so hard to picture life without my family close by. A few minutes later my dad walked back inside wiping tears from his face. It was such a tough time. It was a sad time.
But I sit hear one year later as happy as I hav ever been. I'm marrying my dream girl in November. I get to work with the same students and student ministry team for another year, as I accepted another year-long internship with the church. And I'm moving into my own place. Who would have thought this would all happen to average ole Charlie? Not me! Especially as I was sitting at the dinning table with my mom and dad that night as we said our goodbyes and crying, I would have never dreamt this for myself.
I have leanred a lot of things in my life. I've learned how to color inside the lines with my crayons. I've learned to make scrambled eggs, and I've even learned how to make a loud popping noise with my knuckles by slapping with my finger. But one of the most important things I think I have leanred is that God's dreams are bigger and better than my dreams. Why even waste time dreaming for your life when God has the perfect dream waiting to become your reality? God is the mastermind behind this plan. He is the designer of my life. I'm so excited to see where God takes me, because I could never possibly dream what God has in store! Are you going to let God dream for you?!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Finally I Become a Man
"April showers bring May flowers." This is the saying I always heard growing up. With the showers we had in Indiana this April, there should be a forests of lilies and roses popping up everywhere. It rained so much here. There was a two week period where it rained nonstop. In the office there were a couple of people complaining about it, and someone said, "Do you think Noah complained?" And if I was a gambling man, I would say Noah probably threw up a couple of complaints to the Big Guy. But the rain from the clouds has finally ceased here in Indiana. Unfortunately I haven't quit making it rain from my billfold....i just got an apartment.
That's right. Charlie is getting ready to go through yet another rite of passage. First it was growing armpit hair, then it was getting his driver's license, and now it is getting an apartment and living by himself. This will be the first time I have ever lived by myself. After graduating high school, I lived in a dorm with my good friend David, and for the past year I have been living with a family that has graciously taken me in...but now I must grow up and live by myself.
I'm going to be honest...I'm a little nervous. Here is a quick list of the reasons I'm nervous.
1) I don't know how to cook. The only things I know how to cook is frozen pizza and hot dogs. Last time I checked, man cannot live on frozen pizza and hot dogs alone. So I better get my Emeril on...soon.
2) I have never spent this much money on a consistent basis. I am now obligated to pay rent every month for an entire year! I think the last time I paid money on a regular basis towards something was to fix my sweet tooth in high school. Every day I spent 50 cents to buy a pack of nutty bars at lunch. Unfortunately my rent is going to be a little more than 50 cents.
3) There is a good chance my apartment is haunted. My apartment is actually in a mansion that was built in 1870 for widows. The person who built this house was named Colbertson, and he also built another mansion just down the street from where I will be living. And that mansion actually has had reports of a haunting. I hope urine repels ghosts because I know I will pee the bed if I ever see/hear anything freaky.
So there are a couple of reasons why I'm nervous to live by myself. Are they valid? Oh yea. But I'm also pretty excited to have my own apartment. It will be nice to go home and not have to worry about anyone...plus I can walk around in my underwear. But on a serious note, I think this time will be really good for me. I will learn stuff about myself that I would never learn if I never ventured out and lived on my own. So I guess you could say I'm nervous and excited!
Have you guys every lived by yourself? If so, what did you learn about yourself?
That's right. Charlie is getting ready to go through yet another rite of passage. First it was growing armpit hair, then it was getting his driver's license, and now it is getting an apartment and living by himself. This will be the first time I have ever lived by myself. After graduating high school, I lived in a dorm with my good friend David, and for the past year I have been living with a family that has graciously taken me in...but now I must grow up and live by myself.
I'm going to be honest...I'm a little nervous. Here is a quick list of the reasons I'm nervous.
1) I don't know how to cook. The only things I know how to cook is frozen pizza and hot dogs. Last time I checked, man cannot live on frozen pizza and hot dogs alone. So I better get my Emeril on...soon.
2) I have never spent this much money on a consistent basis. I am now obligated to pay rent every month for an entire year! I think the last time I paid money on a regular basis towards something was to fix my sweet tooth in high school. Every day I spent 50 cents to buy a pack of nutty bars at lunch. Unfortunately my rent is going to be a little more than 50 cents.
3) There is a good chance my apartment is haunted. My apartment is actually in a mansion that was built in 1870 for widows. The person who built this house was named Colbertson, and he also built another mansion just down the street from where I will be living. And that mansion actually has had reports of a haunting. I hope urine repels ghosts because I know I will pee the bed if I ever see/hear anything freaky.
So there are a couple of reasons why I'm nervous to live by myself. Are they valid? Oh yea. But I'm also pretty excited to have my own apartment. It will be nice to go home and not have to worry about anyone...plus I can walk around in my underwear. But on a serious note, I think this time will be really good for me. I will learn stuff about myself that I would never learn if I never ventured out and lived on my own. So I guess you could say I'm nervous and excited!
Have you guys every lived by yourself? If so, what did you learn about yourself?
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