There are times in life when you do something pretty dumb or stupid, and you can just shrug it off. For instance, you might see a pretty girl in the cafeteria that you have never talked to before. You have enough courage to sit at the same table as her and her friends, but you keep silent for the most part, only making conversation with your buddy who is there for support. As everyone is done eating their roast and mashed potatoes, the girl stands up to put up her tray, and you cunningly follow her to do the same. You want to talk to her really bad just so you can hear that sweet voice of hers. You quickly try to think about something to say to her, but the only thing that comes to mind is how good the dinner was that night at the cafe; so you blurt out, "Yum. Those taters were good." She tries to force a smile and nods her head. After throwing away your leftovers along with your pride and confidence, you walk back to your dorm and thinking to yourself, "Taters? Really, that's the best you could come up with?"
Now if this story was true...I'm sure you would just feel stupid for a little bit. Unless you have horrible friends who bring that story up every chance they get, you'll be fine. But there are other times, when I do something dumb that is harder for me to shrug off. When I allow the pride I try so hard to suppress loose, there is nothing more humiliating and shameful. Brian Regan calls this the "Me-Monster." Regan makes light of the pride some people struggle with, but in reality, it is no laughing matter.
In Middle School, I was a proud pimply faced boy who played sports and chased the girls. I would do or say anything to make myself look better; even if that meant putting down my friends in front of girls just to show them how awesome I was. I look back at how I was in middle school, and I am embarrassed at the way I treated other people and my high view of myself. Now there is nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself, but if you look down on other people because you believe you are somehow better, pride is showing its tremendously ugly face. C.S. Lewis has a great quote on pride. He says,
"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you.”
In our pride, we become the greatest being in our world. No longer is God Lord of Lords and King of Kings in those moments. This is exactly how the devil became the devil. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says that is through pride that all other sin stems from. He says that pride, "is the complete anti-God state of mind."
The reason I say all of this is because that I am in a constant struggle with pride. The other day I was talking with a student about Jesus' crucifixion, and he said Jesus was completely naked. And I told him that could have been the case, but they didn't always crucify people nude. Sometimes they had a small loincloth on too, and during that time, people considered the person to be nude when they only had their undergarments on (And I was probably wrong anyways). The high school student then said, "Have you even studied crucifixion? You probably just watched Passion of the Christ." After he said that, I quickly released the Me-Monster. I just looked at him and said, "Are you serious?" Then I looked over to one of my buddies and said, "This kid just asked me if I knew anything about crucifixion!" I wanted to tell him that I did a couple of research papers on crucifixion and how I attended Bible College for 4 years, but I didn't. I just looked at him like he was stupid.
Right away, I knew what I had done and couldn't me more disappointed with myself. This was a couple days ago, but I still get a knot in my stomach when I think about it. I look at that situation and I can't help but feel embarrassed and full of shame. No matter how much it seems I try to keep the Me-Monster inside and caged, it always comes out roaring like a lion. Pride is something we are going to have to struggle with for our entire lives. We have to continually pray for humility and pick up our cross daily. I hope that we can all echo Paul's words in Galatians 6:14,
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
In our pride, we become the greatest being in our world. No longer is God Lord of Lords and King of Kings in those moments. This is exactly how the devil became the devil. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says that is through pride that all other sin stems from. He says that pride, "is the complete anti-God state of mind."
The reason I say all of this is because that I am in a constant struggle with pride. The other day I was talking with a student about Jesus' crucifixion, and he said Jesus was completely naked. And I told him that could have been the case, but they didn't always crucify people nude. Sometimes they had a small loincloth on too, and during that time, people considered the person to be nude when they only had their undergarments on (And I was probably wrong anyways). The high school student then said, "Have you even studied crucifixion? You probably just watched Passion of the Christ." After he said that, I quickly released the Me-Monster. I just looked at him and said, "Are you serious?" Then I looked over to one of my buddies and said, "This kid just asked me if I knew anything about crucifixion!" I wanted to tell him that I did a couple of research papers on crucifixion and how I attended Bible College for 4 years, but I didn't. I just looked at him like he was stupid.
Right away, I knew what I had done and couldn't me more disappointed with myself. This was a couple days ago, but I still get a knot in my stomach when I think about it. I look at that situation and I can't help but feel embarrassed and full of shame. No matter how much it seems I try to keep the Me-Monster inside and caged, it always comes out roaring like a lion. Pride is something we are going to have to struggle with for our entire lives. We have to continually pray for humility and pick up our cross daily. I hope that we can all echo Paul's words in Galatians 6:14,
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
2 comments:
Oh my, that's such a great story about the 'taters. But don't fret, we all have those moments. I don't like coffee very much, after all.
Very good thoughts. When you put the first C.S. Lewis quote, I started thinking about the one about it being an anti-God state of mind. Way to stay one step ahead of me.
oh don't we all have embarrassing moments in the cafe... oh gosh, i remember my many walks of shame back to dennis thinking, "seriously, you just said that..." I think during those time God laughs and says, "oh precious lamb you shouldn't try so hard."
Enjoyed the post charles, the quotes = amazing.
thanks!
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