The Answer

I know when you first saw the title of my blog you thought I was going to write an in-depth article on Allen Iverson, the former basketball player. But if I were to write about Iverson, I would title it, "Practice?" Or maybe you thought I was going to write about our nation's debt problem and my 7-step solution to recover 60% of our losses. Perhaps for you "The Answer" was going to be a blog post about a dieting program for those of us who still like to eat our sweets. Unfortunately none of the above will be discussed here, but I'm going to be talking about Batman and Robin...you know...scholarly stuff.

My whole life I have always felt like the second person. I've felt like a back-up. Being the oldest child in my family, I'm supposed to be pretty outgoing and have a lot of leadership qualities, but I'm not that way. In fact, my brother, who is one year younger than me, possesses all of those qualities. In high school, I was literally the back-up. I was second string quarterback my entire varsity career.

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm on a floor with about 30 other guys. It was great part of my life that I'll never forget. I loved those guys! One time some of us guys were hanging out in someone's dorm room, and the question came up, "If we lived in the wild west, what would each guy on the floor be?" For instance, we decided that Eric would have been the sheriff. Robert would have been the cool barber that everyone knew but didn't want to get on his bad side because he always held a razor so close to your neck. When I asked who I would be, they all laughed and agreed that I would be the boy in town that always wanted to join the fight but was always told no because I was too young.

Another time my buddies and I were talking about what each guy on our dorm floor would be if they were a superhero. Some guys were superman others were spiderman or the Green Lantern. I piped up and said i would be Batman, but they also didn't agree and said I would be Robin instead...I would be the sidekick. I've always felt like I should be the sidekick or the back-up, but to be honest with you I hated it. I wanted to be the star. I wanted to be the sheriff. I wanted to be the answer.

I think I have taken the same mentality into ministry. Because of how people have always viewed me as the sidekick, I have wanted to do better and be better. I've wanted to be the student minister that was fun and outgoing. I wanted to preach great sermons and be so good relationally with students that they would come flocking to me. I wanted to be their answer.

A couple of weeks ago we took our high school students to Panama City, Florida for a week-long conference. It was great. We stayed at a hotel right on the beach, got a tan (well I got pretty sunburnt), and learned about some godly men and women in the Bible. Christine and I were in charge of a small group of students the whole week. Basically, we were with them for about an hour each morning. That time was a time to get to know our students and to be able to teach them some different stuff. As the week progressed, I started to get really frustrated because we hadn't seen any fruit from our students. They would all just nod their heads in group and talk every once in a while. Don't get me wrong, our students were amazing, but for some reason I didn't feel like it was clicking with them. Right away I concluded that I was doing a horrible job at teaching them or not pouring into them enough...I wasn't being the answer.

On the second to last night, we had worship on the beach. It was dark outside and you could see hundreds of stars in the night sky. There was a couple playing guitar and singing worship songs, and it was just an awesome time to worship God. When Christine and I went down to the beach we just walked. After a while I started letting everything come out. I told her all about how I felt like I failed the students and that I wasn't enough. Christine did what she always does...she listened to me and then encouraged me. She reminded me that I am not the answer to the student's problems. I am not the answer. I let that sink in for a while...and to be honest...I felt like I was set free. For a long time I always tried to be the the funniest guy or the most welcoming guy thinking that if a student didn't connect it was my fault...all of the burden was on my shoulders.

I sat there in the sand next to Christine just talking about how we aren't the answer. Yes, God chooses to use us, but we can't expect to be the answer to all the students problems because we will come up short every time. Because I've always dealt with the problem of being second or being the sidekick, I started to tell myself that I needed to be THE one, but what I didn't know is that I was trying to take the place of the One.

That night on the beach was great for me, and the next day God showed me how he has a funny sense of humor. The very next morning after the night on the beach, a student in my small group came up to me and said he wanted to get baptized! I sat there and talked to him about it for a while, and then I asked if he wanted to pray. First you need to understand that this student is a great guy! He is a lot of fun and easy to talk to, but he isn't big on praying in front of people (which is a lot of students). When he bowed his head and started talking to God, I sat there in awe. He was praying one of the most heart felt prayers I had ever heard in my life. His prayer was so authentic and so real. And the truth is......it wasn't because of me. It was all because of what God was doing in his life. Later that day I was able to baptize Hayden with his friend Chandler, who first invited Hayden to come to our church.

So am I willing to be a sidekick for the creator of the Universe? Oh yea. God can do everything, and I can do nothing without Him. I am not the answer but He is The Answer.

Freedom isn't Free

Freedom is a great thing. Freedom is being able to do what you want when you want. Of course there are some exceptions. I can't go kill some right now because I have an itching for murder. There are certain laws of the land to keep order and safety for the people. But Freedom...freedom is something people die for. Martin Luther King wanted African Americans to have the same freedom and rights as white people. He ended up being killed for the freedom he so eagerly sought. King Leonidas of Sparta and his 300 men died at Thermopylae to protect the freedom of his people from King Xerxes and the Persian Empire. There is story after story of men and women giving up their life because they want to attain and maintain freedom.

In the United States, the word Freedom is thrown around like a frisbee in a park. Everyone talks about it, but we really don't understand the meaning. We don't feel the significance. I say "WE" because I struggle with this just like anyone else. Now I know there are some people out there who know and feel freedom because they have had a loved one die overseas trying to maintain our freedom, and I want to say a huge thanks! There are also some people who have had a family member or friend die here on our soil because they were upholding our freedom as a policeman or fireman. I think you guys understand freedom a lot more than we do. I tell you all of this because I think Freedom is worth dying for.

Today I'm celebrating Freedom on two levels. First I'm celebrating the United States' Independence day, and our victory over Great Britain to become a Free country! But secondly, and most importantly, I'm celebrating my freedom from death! On July 4th, 1999 I decided to get baptized. I have officially become a Christian for half of my life...12 years, and I can say that I am free because Jesus thought that I was important enough to die for. He thought my Freedom was worth dying for.

Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." Jesus thought it was important enough for us to be free from death and sin that he died for us. I think the next verse is really cool too which says, "Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Paul is telling us that Jesus has set us free, so don't go back to death and sin (living your old way of life). This sounds crazy to us. Why would anyone go back to being a slave after being free? But we do it everyday. In the Old Testament, the Israelites lived in the land of Egypt for 430 years, and for most of that time they were the Egyptians' slaves. They worked tirelessly for the Pharaoh. It was so bad that the Israelites cried out to God and asked for Freedom. God heard their prayers and sent Moses to set them free. After some time and plagues, the Pharaoh agreed to let the Israelites free. The people of Israel were no longer slaves, but they were free! But after time passes and the Israelites are traveling through the desert we hear them crying out to Moses, "Let us go back to Egypt!!" Tough times had landed on the Israelites, and they were hungry and thirsty, so they wanted to go back into the life of slavery. Crazy! So Paul tell us..."stand firm and do not become slaves again!"

Another passage jumps out to me when I start thinking about freedom and dying. It is Philippians 1:21 which says, "To live is Christ and to die is gain." One of the hardest things to do in a Christian's life is to die everyday to self and to live for Christ. This means saying "no" to your own personal wants and pleasures and saying "yes" to freedom in Christ. And let me tell you something really cool...when you die to to yourself, you gain freedom! You gain a freedom from carrying your burdens all by yourself. You gain a freedom from living this life without a purpose. You gain a freedom from death!!!!! If we die to ourselves on this earth, we get to live free forever with Jesus! Freedom will be worth dying for.

So today as I sit here writing this I am so happy for my freedom as an American Citizen, but I'm reminded of a greater freedom that I have found in Christ. This freedom isn't free...it cost Jesus His life, and it costs us our own personal desires and wants. But I promise that it is worth dying for, because when you die to yourself you can really start to live a life of a freedom. I hope this makes sense for you guys. Love you all and Happy 4th of July!!!!

Hospital Visits and Jr. High Boys

I always hate starting out a post this way, but I just feel the need to apologize for not writing more. I wish I could give you guys a good excuse why I haven't blogged in a while. I wish I could tell you that I was climbing a mountain or that I was writing the foreword to Francis Chan's new book coming out on Hell. Unfortunately I can't tell you anything like that...all I can say is that haven't made time to blog. Before you start throwing erroneous things out like, "Charlie has blogged because he doesn't care about us" or "Charlie must be backsliding in his faith, so he hasn't written anything," let me update you on my life!

I am moved into my new apartment even though there are still boxes kind of scattered throughout my bedroom. I am in charge of our jr. high program this summer called LIFT Remix. I got a haircut about 2 weeks ago. I just got done drinking a Sprite, and I gelled my hair this morning. I'm a busy guy. I tell you all of this just to say, "I'm sorry for not making time for you, blog nation."

But on a serious note, this week as been a really good week. I've got a lot accomplished for LIFT Remix, and I was able to hang out with students two days this week. For some reason, anytime I get to hang out with students it re-energizes me. I just love doing life with students. Recently I started meeting with 3 Jr. High boys once a week. We hang out and have fun, but it is also a time for me to be able to pour into these guys. What is really cool is that I am already seeing results! The 3 guys I've been able to hang out with have great potential for leadership, and we have been talking about what it means to be a leader. Well last week at Remix, one of the guys really stepped up and was leading his group during a time where other groups were just goofing off. Now to you that might sound normal, but this kid is usually the student who is goofing off the most. It was really neat to see that my time with them is already paying off, but I can't take the credit. God is moving in their lives, and he is allowing me to help.

Another thing that I was really encouraged by this week was an encounter I had with an older lady named Helen in a hospital. This week we had 4 staff members out of the office on vacation and 3 of them are ministers that make hospital visits, so when this lady needed someone to come pray with her there was no one available...except me. I have never made a hospital call before, so I was pretty nervous. When I got to the hospital, I nervously walked down the hall to her room and knocked on her door. She quietly said, "Come in," still tired from her surgery that morning. I walked in and introduced myself and asked how she was doing. We ended up talking for about 15 minutes, and she told me about her life how her surgery went. As I grabbed her hand to pray with her she said, "Oh...you have nice warm hands." Then she smiled and prayed for her.

I usually hate going to hospitals because it always reminds me of my grandpa, but this time I was smiling as I left. It was so encouraging to be able to just sit and talk with Helen. I hope something has happened to you guys this week that has reminded you of how much God cares for you and how involved He is today. Love you guys!

God's Report Card

I just set up my online account to start giving money to the church every two weeks. To be completely honest, my stomach is a little uneasy just thinking about it. I've never officially tithe before. I use to just throw a couple of dollars in the offering plat when it was passed, but that was only if I had enough money leftover in my wallet to buy a couple of cheeseburgers for lunch.

I'm not proud of the way I have handled my money in the past. Its been all about me and what I want. I remember one of my first days at Ozark Christian College as a freshman. There was a worship service on campus I attended that first Sunday I was in Joplin. When it came time for offering, I thought I should put some money in the plate that was being passed for the fear of someone noticing I didn't put any money in the plate thus making me less of a Christian. I opened up my wallet and put in what I thought was a $10 bill. You see, I am a spoiled guy. My parents gave me $400 every semester to spend on myself, and they usually gave me four $100 bills or a check. That day I also had other bills in my wallet, so I grabbed the $10 and put it in the plate. When I got back to my dorm room I noticed a hundred dollar bill missing from my wallet and that my $10 bill was still there. Then it hit me...I accidentally threw in the $100 bill instead of the ten. My stomach dropped and my face went pale. I thought to myself, "I just wasted one hundred dollars."

Looking back at that moment, I am not proud of myself, and yet today I have that same feeling in my stomach. I think it all comes down to faith. Do I have faith that God will use the money I give better than the double cheeseburgers I would but if I kept the money? Do I have faith that God will provide for me even though I have less money? Do I have faith?

Right now I don't think I have the faith I should have, but this will be good for me. Malachi 3:8-12 talks about how we should test God in our tithing and giving. Malachi 3:10 says, " 'Test me in this (tithing),' says the Lord, 'and see if I will not throw open the flood gates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'"

I'm excited to see my faith grow, because I guess I am testing God in my finances. I think the odds are in my favor, because God has never failed a test. Of course I need to have the right perspective on this. The way God provides might not be the way I want Him to, but He always provides whats best for me. So does this mean next a $100 bill will show up on my doorstep? Probably not. God might just give me a content spirit or joy to be able to make it through tough circumstances. Whatever it is, I know God will pass the test...He's a straight A student. I think...I know he will pass the Test.

God Dreams

Tomorrow is the big day. I'm moving into my apartment. Right now it is about 10 o'clock at night, and my room at the house I've been living at the past year still looks the same. I haven't packed anything, and to be honest I think I'm going to wait until the last minute to do anything. It is just hard leaving a place where you have gotten so comfortable. The family I'm staying with has been awesome. I'm so lucky to have had the privilege to stay with the Lincks.

I remember this time last year, I was about to make another big move. This time instead of moving about 30 minutes away, I was moving 9 hours away...from Kansas to Indiana. It was the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. I remember the night before I left. I was sitting in the kitchen with my mom and dad just talking a little bit. All my things were packed in my car, so I could leave early the next morning. When all of a sudden, I just broke down. I started bawling like a baby, and I had no idea where it came from. My dad actually walked outside to our backyard and my mom came over to comfort me as tears were flooding down her face too. She just rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be okay. I believed her, but it was just so hard to picture life without my family close by. A few minutes later my dad walked back inside wiping tears from his face. It was such a tough time. It was a sad time.

But I sit hear one year later as happy as I hav ever been. I'm marrying my dream girl in November. I get to work with the same students and student ministry team for another year, as I accepted another year-long internship with the church. And I'm moving into my own place. Who would have thought this would all happen to average ole Charlie? Not me! Especially as I was sitting at the dinning table with my mom and dad that night as we said our goodbyes and crying, I would have never dreamt this for myself.

I have leanred a lot of things in my life. I've learned how to color inside the lines with my crayons. I've learned to make scrambled eggs, and I've even learned how to make a loud popping noise with my knuckles by slapping with my finger. But one of the most important things I think I have leanred is that God's dreams are bigger and better than my dreams. Why even waste time dreaming for your life when God has the perfect dream waiting to become your reality? God is the mastermind behind this plan. He is the designer of my life. I'm so excited to see where God takes me, because I could never possibly dream what God has in store! Are you going to let God dream for you?!

Finally I Become a Man

"April showers bring May flowers." This is the saying I always heard growing up. With the showers we had in Indiana this April, there should be a forests of lilies and roses popping up everywhere. It rained so much here. There was a two week period where it rained nonstop. In the office there were a couple of people complaining about it, and someone said, "Do you think Noah complained?" And if I was a gambling man, I would say Noah probably threw up a couple of complaints to the Big Guy. But the rain from the clouds has finally ceased here in Indiana. Unfortunately I haven't quit making it rain from my billfold....i just got an apartment.

That's right. Charlie is getting ready to go through yet another rite of passage. First it was growing armpit hair, then it was getting his driver's license, and now it is getting an apartment and living by himself. This will be the first time I have ever lived by myself. After graduating high school, I lived in a dorm with my good friend David, and for the past year I have been living with a family that has graciously taken me in...but now I must grow up and live by myself.

I'm going to be honest...I'm a little nervous. Here is a quick list of the reasons I'm nervous.

1) I don't know how to cook. The only things I know how to cook is frozen pizza and hot dogs. Last time I checked, man cannot live on frozen pizza and hot dogs alone. So I better get my Emeril on...soon.

2) I have never spent this much money on a consistent basis. I am now obligated to pay rent every month for an entire year! I think the last time I paid money on a regular basis towards something was to fix my sweet tooth in high school. Every day I spent 50 cents to buy a pack of nutty bars at lunch. Unfortunately my rent is going to be a little more than 50 cents.

3) There is a good chance my apartment is haunted. My apartment is actually in a mansion that was built in 1870 for widows. The person who built this house was named Colbertson, and he also built another mansion just down the street from where I will be living. And that mansion actually has had reports of a haunting. I hope urine repels ghosts because I know I will pee the bed if I ever see/hear anything freaky.

So there are a couple of reasons why I'm nervous to live by myself. Are they valid? Oh yea. But I'm also pretty excited to have my own apartment. It will be nice to go home and not have to worry about anyone...plus I can walk around in my underwear. But on a serious note, I think this time will be really good for me. I will learn stuff about myself that I would never learn if I never ventured out and lived on my own. So I guess you could say I'm nervous and excited!

Have you guys every lived by yourself? If so, what did you learn about yourself?

Don't Forget

As I sit here writing this post, I'm reminded of the famous philosopher Charlie Sheen when he said, "I'm bi-winning. I win here. I win there." You see, tonight I am going to play some basketball with some friends, and there will definitely be some winning. Will I win? Probably not, but someone will win. Also, another win for me today...I get the day off! Tomorrow is Good Friday and the offices are closed, but my day off is usually Friday, so I get to take my day off today! Its going to be a "winning" weekend. I'm going to color Easter eggs, make rice crispie Easter eggs, and take Christine to the driving range for the first time (she might not win that one). But all I know is that it is going to be a winning weekend.

As I said earlier, tomorrow is Good Friday, and two days later it is Easter! I remember when I was younger, my brothers and I would get so excited to get up Easter Sunday and look for eggs! *Disclaimer* *If you are under the age of 8, please quit reading for your own good* *Disclaimer* My parents were really good at hiding eggs! There were always 1 or 2 eggs we never found because my dad had found too difficult a hiding place for us to find them. But I used to have a great time on Easter. And what kid doesn't like Candy?! That is what Easter is all about, right?! But now that I am older, Easter eggs and candy are not the first things to come to mind...

Every Sunday at LIFT, our middle school program at church, we have a time where we take communion. Usually Cody or I get up in front of the students and give a little spiel about communion, and this past week it was my turn. As I was trying to think of what to say, I was reminded of what Christine's dad says to her when she is getting ready to leave. Rick, Christine's dad, quickly says the words, "Don't Forget" before Christine leaves to go somewhere. When I first heard this saying, I thought she had to go pick up something at the grocery store and her dad was just reminding her not to forget to pick up some cereal. But after time I started to notice that he said, "Don't forget" almost every time she left the house. Finally I asked Christine about it and she said, "Oh, he wants me not to forget that he loves me!"

As this story played in my mind last week before communion, I could hear Jesus saying to me, "Don't forget..." Every week we go to church and we eat this stale, small piece of bread (unless you go to Carterville Christian Church in Missouri...best communion bread ever!) and drink a small cup of grape juice that is barely enough to get the stale bread taste out of your mouth...why? So that we "Don't Forget."

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I sure hope we don't forget about it because without Good Friday there would be no Easter. Without Jesus dying on the cross on Friday, He could not come back to life on Sunday. So tomorrow as you are going about your day, and for the rest of your time on earth...Don't Forget. Don't forget that he died for you and that He loves you.

My friend Adam, Christine's brother, wrote a blog Post about this a while back, and I don't do it justice compared to him. I Hope you guys have a good Easter holiday this weekend. Love you all!